KH3 Riku and Sora Get Laid
by Areza Linear
Summary: ...eventually that is... Kat and Lily... just sitting in basement fighting who's hotter.... THEN BAM! Their actually in Kingdom Hearts! With hot guys! YAY! Their mission, to find... homeba..wait... that's right... just home... cough because the heartless


**CHAPTER ONE: No more Earth**

One day, while Kat and Lily were playing KH2 in the basement…

"Riku's hotter!"

"No! Sora's hotter!"

"I must disagree," said Kat.

"Sora's mine!" yelled Lily.

"Fine, Riku's mine."

"Fine, you go think about Riku or whatever you do while I take my keyblade and kick some serious fiend ass," Lily childishly snorted.

"You do that, and I'll be reminding myself that Riku's hotter and much more talented!... less, well… light."

"Emo! Oh so emo, and this argument is over as of now, because we can just write a fanfiction about it."

"You are so right," admitted Kat because she knew there would be consequences for disagreeing with Lily. Not extreme ones, but consequences none the less.

"So, what do you wanna do?" Kat asked her friend.

"I dunno, play Kingdom Hearts 2?"

"One player! Boring! How about pool?" Kat asked hopefully.

"Okay!"

They looked to the pool table, and were shocked to see the pool balls shaking. Something, obviously, was horribly wrong. Suddenly, a couple shadowy heartless appeared in front of them. They twitched closer to the girls.

"What the hell!" Lily screamed and Kat froze. "Kat! Do something, I suck at Kingdom Hearts!"

"Oh right!" Kat replied sarcastically. "Okay, we're dead… I have no weapon!"

And just like that, a whip appeared in Kat's hand.

"And a dagger?" she added hopefully. A dagger appeared in her other hand. She stared in amazement, not to mention she was distracted by the shiny blade. Meanwhile, the heartless were closing in…

"Holy shit Kat, do something you _reject_!" Lily was obviously petrified.

_"Okay," _thought Kat hurriedly to herself. _"This is going to be exactly like the game. Exactly. Right." _She took a short breath and a step forward. Her hands were shaking and she was already sweating out of fear. Then Kat lunged a the two menacing heartless. It was so easy! She struck out once with her whip, and was completely overtaken by a flurry of continuous stabs and snaps, it was almost like she wasn't even in control her own actions. Whatever went on, went fast though because before she knew it, the heartless had fallen to the floor, their black hollow hearts floating up towards the ceiling before disappearing completely. Lily came rushing over while Kat struggled to catch her breath and to comprehend what just went on.

"Uhm…" Lily said. "I think that you should give me that happy dagger, before you kill more things."

"What?" Kat asked, looking down at the blade. It was a half moon, and indeed it was smiling. "No! My happy dagger, looking down at the blade. It was a half moon, and indeed it was smiling. "No! My happy dagger! Get your own weapons!"

And, magically, a large and silver broadsword appeared in Lily's hands. She staggered at first.

"Shit!... heavy!"

"Wow… what would happen if I asked for chocolate cake?" Kat wondered out loud.

"_Reject_! We don't have time for cake!"

"There's always time for cake, bitch!"

The roar of engines broke through their fight. It came from outside of Kat's house. They didn't hesitate to run upstairs and see what it was. The two had just gotten to the kitchen window and stopped suddenly in their tracks.

"OMG…. No way," Kat said, jaw dropped.

"Oh! Oh! GUH-GUH-FUCK!" Lily stammered.

"GUMMI SHIP! … and you know who droves those bad asses…"

She turned to find Lily already out the door yelling "Sora!" So Kat followed and got outside just in time to see Sora, Goofy, and Donald come out of the ship with some very concerned looks.

"Oh my God! It's Sora!" Lily stammered excitedly.

"Not good news," Kat said.

Lily whirled around. "Not good news?" she asked, very confused.

"Lily, why does Sora go to planets?"

"To fight heartless!" her friend answered excitedly.

"So… why is he here?"

"Uhm… To see me?"

"No, to kill heartless. Meaning heartless are here. Not good."

Sora was staring at the weapons in their hands.

"Looks like everything here is under control," he said.

"NO!" Lily cried. "Things are bad! We need help! Your help!"

"Mental help," Donald mumbled.

"Hey, come on Donald! She's not that bad." Sora punched him.

"Thanks you," Lily said. She crossed her arms and stook her tongue out at the overly large duck, who was doing the same thing back to her.

"So, um, where's Riku?" Kat asked, looking around for the silver-haired wonder.

"Oh, he's with Kairi at the world that never was… hey, wait a minute! How do you know Riku? How do you know me!"

"Uh… Uhm…" the girls stammered as they were cut off by intense background music.

"Oh no," said Sora, pulling out his keyblade.

"What is it?" they asked.

"That music always means trouble. By the sounds of it, it's a really big heartless. And there's always little heartless around big heartless." Sora narrowed his eyes. "It's go time."

A huge-ass heartless appeared, and the trio ran towards it screaming their battle cry of doom.

Kat rolled her eyes while Lily's eyes stayed glued to Sora. Not that Kat had anything against Sora, he just wasn't sexy enough for her liking.

Soon, small and weak heartless showed up, followed by a couple of weak nobodies. The two girls started to dispatch them quickly.

-15 minutes later-

"Woohoo! I leveled up!" Lily cheered.

"Hey, why didn't I level up? I killed the first two heartless!" Kat cried, then lashed out her anger (and whip) at a nobody. She then advanced to level 15. Lily was level 14.

"Oh, I see! I wals already on level 14!"

"Retard," Lily stabbed. She then went into overdrive mode, canceling out Kat, and destroyed tons of heartless until she too was at level 15. Kat came back, unsure of where she had gone, and glared at Lily.

"There," Lily said happily. "Now, we're even."

"Hey!" Sora called to them. They turned to see the trio of duck, dog, and human running towards them with worried expressions on their faces.

"We've gotta get outta here!" Donald yelled, jumping up and down, and flailing his fat little wings.

"A-hyuck, this place is gunna explode!" Goofy added.

"What!" Kat yelled. "What about the people?"

"Oh, they'll just go to Traverse Town," Sora said nonchalantly.

"how they hell do they go there?" Lily and Kat asked at the same time.

"Beats me!" Sora shrugged. "C'mon! Let's go!"

(Hey, this is Ari-Lin! Katareza, lilylinear This is our first story together. And our first collaborated site… name… thing. Anywho! R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R! Please! Not… like… we're desperate or anything….. R&R)


End file.
